Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
