Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
