He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
