I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
