I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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