you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
