Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
