he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
