She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
