Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
