You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
