ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
