girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
