Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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