Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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