pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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