i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
