She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
