the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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