apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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