I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
