I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
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