I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We're too hungover to prance.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
