That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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