Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
