There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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