Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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