I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
