I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You may now shotgun with the bride
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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