Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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