Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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