i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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