i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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