I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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