dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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