It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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