I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
