PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
