The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
