Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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