Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
