I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
