she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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