This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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