That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
