We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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