you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
