I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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