you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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