I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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