i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
