you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
