Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
