Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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