If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
