There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
