i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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