Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
