Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize