How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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