My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
