he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
