I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
