Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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