id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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