I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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