I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize