i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
