Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
